Rec(Depr)ession Backlash

Some people who I know or frequent with on Twitter and/or Facebook probably already know this, but I may as well should blog about it to free up some space in my head and heart. On January 16th I became a statistic in this failed economy and was laid off from my firm.

It's a weird feeling to be let go because of your firm's finances. I'm a very straightforward person and prefer dealing with conflict, so because it wasn't due to a disagreement or a conflict of personalities I have no one to blame. I have no anger and because of that I am numb. It's such a weird non-feeling, all of a sudden you were working and now you are not because your boss can't afford to pay you anymore. What a sense of loss...

I do get waves of fear that maybe I won't get hired at all. We're in a bad situation financially and it's particularly effected professions such as mine. I can't even tell you how many emails I've sent out to job postings where a) they haven't updated their website in the last month and still have positions listed that they are no longer filling, b) love my resume, but are in a hiring freeze or c) "DUE TO THE HIGH VOLUME OF APPLICATIONS..." *sigh*

So for now, I'm working my existing connections, traveling a bit, studying for the upcoming PE exam which I'm forcing myself to take in October since I now have all this study time available, I don't have that whole job thing getting in the way. *eye roll and a laugh*

And see there it is, I go through waves of depression, but then get my hopes lifted because I see a new prospect on the horizon or get an answer back from someone. I was secretly looking to see what else was out there by the end of last year. I wanted to move to another firm that would let me grow, but who also had more criticism to give me, if that makes any sense. I wanted people to really look at what I was doing and maybe lend me their ways of doing things or refer me to a more rigorous set of calculations. So maybe this is the opportunity I was looking for, something that would upset my comfort zone of working for a comfortable place and make me work for someone that would force me to step up my game, force me to learn more.

However, those people that may have hired me a couple months ago, have also cut back their work force, some by 20% or more. So all I can do now is submit my resume, make a few calls and run some leg work. Hopefully that will push my resume up to the front of the line.

So I'm doing OK. Other portions of my life have begun to fill the voids for me and make me tremendously happy and help to pass the days. My friends and family have been great and I can't thank you guys enough. :-)

NINternetz Update

Some very talented NINnies have been having their way with some excellent footage from many of the shows this year in the Lights in the Sky tour of Nine Inch Nails. What has surfaced is a totally fan collaborated DVD set called Another Version of the Truth: This One is On Us. And here's a little sneak peak:



For updates and general OMG fangirl/boy moments, please take a visit over to the fan site. And to show your support, place this image somewhere on your blog. Mine is resting nicely in my footer to serve as a wonderful anchor for my blog. It's keeping me grounded in a sense. :-)

One for the polar bears

HA! Nature's fighting back bitcheeeeez!

Fractally Goodness

*drool*




*snurched from Buttons for Mouse.

Beauty Weekend

This weekend is filled with beauty type girly things, namely a hair cut and my first trip to a spa. Since one of my goals this year is to take care of myself, I figured why not kill as many birds as I can with my pretty pink stone and get everything done this weekend.

So I'll be getting my hair cut at my long time regular New Haven spot, SoHo. It'll be just a basic maintenance cut, but I'll inquire about their options to get rid of some grays that I'm beginning to notice. Yes, I'm 26 and starting to gray...*sigh* I amount it to half genetics and half stressful job.

As for the spa, I received as part of my bonus a trip to the Viso Bello Spa in Middlebury for a mani/pedi/facial. This will be a complete first for me and of course I'm wondering if I should prepare myself in some way since I don't want me to completely think I'm a huge green horn. I normally keep my nails in order, but I'm wondering if they will make fun of my cuticles. :-( I'm probably just worrying for nothing, but whatever.

So yes, it should be fun and you can definitely expect Twits as I am waiting (and waiting and waiting and waiting...).

Handcuffed man shot by cop - Oakland, CA

Full article from San Francisco Bay View.

"For reasons unknown to us, the police officer pushed Grant to the ground. One officer kneeled on his neck while the other officer pulled out a gun and shot him point blank in the back. The bullet went through his back, hit the ground and bounced back up and pierced his lung, killing him."

What is wrong with you Oakland PD, don't you know that it's growing less and less easier to get away with stuff like this with the growing reach of cellphone cameras. (Warning, this is an actual video of the event.)

You shot a guy while he was down on the ground and handicuffed, in the back no less.

Updatery

It's been a while since Christmas, but I've run into some car trouble and have been a little depressed because of it and some other things as well.

Firstly, I don't know what it's like for other car brands, but taking an Audi back to the dealership anywhere in Connecticut will just fill you with worry and woe. "OK, you need a whole new camshaft, so that'll be $2950, I'll give you until Friday to decide." "But wait good sir, how can it need an entire new camshaft, the car only has 67K on it and I don't drag race with it, you are describing something that happens at 200K?" *grumble* Thankfully though, I am not alone in the German car price gouge and am getting some help from a Passat owner. Gert will be getting towed there today sometime once I touch base with his guy, who is going to really determine what's wrong with the car, hopefully.

To be as vague as I normally am with Relationship Land: :-) mixed with a little :'-( because of "things." HA! Isn't that spectacularly vague!! :-P

Work is beginning to pick up slightly: I'm waiting back from an architect about another car dealership, we completed field measurements for a school where we're determining it's roof capacity and we're waiting for a couple long time clients to wake up, financially.

This economy blows, if you didn't know that already. My industry took a big hit. Why? Because when credit freezes, even wealthy clients panic. These are people who are used to getting what they want without having to back up a loan with actual things. You can't expect every wealthy person to want to put up their houses in order for a project to be financially backed, not coming out of the quick and easy economy we had not 6 months ago.

So, it is time to take stock and start studying for my upcoming exam which I've been horribly procrastinating so much so that I haven't even filled out the application yet. Why? Because it has a 38% passing rate that's f*cking why. It's essentially my Bar Exam, but this'll be my second one. I've already passed the FE exam out of college and this upcoming one is the PE exam to determine if I've been learning everything I should have and if I can call myself an Engineer. Right now I am an Engineer for my company, if I stop working I lose that and become an Engineer-in-Training. So to compare it to something, I'm in Residency now in a sense. Once I pass the PE exam, I'll be wearing a white coat.