Rec(Depr)ession Backlash

Some people who I know or frequent with on Twitter and/or Facebook probably already know this, but I may as well should blog about it to free up some space in my head and heart. On January 16th I became a statistic in this failed economy and was laid off from my firm.

It's a weird feeling to be let go because of your firm's finances. I'm a very straightforward person and prefer dealing with conflict, so because it wasn't due to a disagreement or a conflict of personalities I have no one to blame. I have no anger and because of that I am numb. It's such a weird non-feeling, all of a sudden you were working and now you are not because your boss can't afford to pay you anymore. What a sense of loss...

I do get waves of fear that maybe I won't get hired at all. We're in a bad situation financially and it's particularly effected professions such as mine. I can't even tell you how many emails I've sent out to job postings where a) they haven't updated their website in the last month and still have positions listed that they are no longer filling, b) love my resume, but are in a hiring freeze or c) "DUE TO THE HIGH VOLUME OF APPLICATIONS..." *sigh*

So for now, I'm working my existing connections, traveling a bit, studying for the upcoming PE exam which I'm forcing myself to take in October since I now have all this study time available, I don't have that whole job thing getting in the way. *eye roll and a laugh*

And see there it is, I go through waves of depression, but then get my hopes lifted because I see a new prospect on the horizon or get an answer back from someone. I was secretly looking to see what else was out there by the end of last year. I wanted to move to another firm that would let me grow, but who also had more criticism to give me, if that makes any sense. I wanted people to really look at what I was doing and maybe lend me their ways of doing things or refer me to a more rigorous set of calculations. So maybe this is the opportunity I was looking for, something that would upset my comfort zone of working for a comfortable place and make me work for someone that would force me to step up my game, force me to learn more.

However, those people that may have hired me a couple months ago, have also cut back their work force, some by 20% or more. So all I can do now is submit my resume, make a few calls and run some leg work. Hopefully that will push my resume up to the front of the line.

So I'm doing OK. Other portions of my life have begun to fill the voids for me and make me tremendously happy and help to pass the days. My friends and family have been great and I can't thank you guys enough. :-)