Melancholy

Melancholy has always been a weird emotion and I don't know why we still need this emotion, evolutionarily speaking of course. Is this emotion somehow beneficial? Did this emotion help us hunt or survive the cold way back when and that's why we still have it after all this time?

I guess my melancholy is up since the weather is getting gorgeous and I'm nearing my first trip out West to even gorgeouser (is that a world, well f*ck it, it is now!) and yet I have a friend that's still recuperating from a burst appendix. Also, frankly, I wish I were seriously dating again.

None of this first date or even second date crap, I want to have someone to come home too and share my life with. I liked those times that I had that and I miss having someone to care about and also having someone care about me.

I do enjoy my single time and dating and barring is fun, but I kind of want something more real, something substantial. So even with the weather being nice and stress in my life kind of subsiding, I'm just not fully happy. There's a longing that I have that's getting more difficult to hide.

Well...I can always go and buy myself some happy at the mall...hmmmmmmmm...perhaps... :-)

I think it's past time for a new happy pair of shoes or some killer jeans. Ahhhhh, retail therapy...