Daily Mitchism

It's been a while, so here's a couple good ones:

"I hope the next time I move I get a real easy phone number, something that's real easy to remember. Something like two two two two two two two two. I would say 'Sweet.' And then people would say, 'Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?' I'd say, 'Just press two for a while. And when I answer, you will know you have pressed two enough.'"

"I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, 'I hear music', as if there is any other way you can take it in. You're not special, that's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it but it did not work."

And my favorite:

"This shirt is 'dry-clean only'...which means it's dirty."